Calling for you Jesus

I grew up going to church and have always thought of myself as a spiritual person, but I have never felt a close relationship to Jesus.  To God yes, but to Jesus - no.  My everyday prayers always feel empty and silent.  I have longed for a relationship with Jesus, but I have no idea how to get there.  I see other people that write and they seem to have such and intimate relationship with Jesus, yet I never seem to get to that space.

So I thought I would keep a journal of my ups and downs, as I search for a relationship with Jesus.  Maybe I will be able to use it to help someone else in the future.

I quickly started the blog, then fear crept in.

What if people read this and I never get that intimate relationship?  What if I fail?  What if I never get to know you Jesus?

I am scared, has anyone else ever been scared that they would fail?  That they would never have that relationship that seems to come so easily for others?

I am calling for you, Jesus.  I want to know you personally.  Please help me to know you.  Please.